Have Some Fucking Patience! (My Run-In With Gary Vaynerchuk)

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Summary:

• If you've been doing the wrong things for years and the right things for 2 months, you need to chill. 
• Overnight success isn't a thing. 
• Discover the failure/ survival trap. 
• Watch the video for the full training! 
• If you've been doing the right things but still aren't getting results, this is for you!  

Inspirational Quotes From The Episode:

Transcript:

Welcome to The Path To Mindset Mastery! My name is Brad Bizjack! I’m a mindset strategist and coach, inspirational speaker, and creator of Appreciation Academy and I help online business owners breakthrough all the negative self-talk holding you back from your dreams so you can finally see the success you deserve!

Today I want to talk to you about something that I struggled with for a very long time and I'm curious, do you ever start doing the right things? And then a couple of months later you go, why hasn't it happened for me yet?! 

And you see all these other people that seem to be flying by you and you're going, what's going on? Like why can't I have that? And you just feel stressed out all the time and you feel panicked like you're never going to be successful!

And you feel like it's just different for you and that other people don't get it. And this might even be after years of trying and doing certain things that clearly weren't the right way and you made one tweak, but you're not getting the results you want yet... and it's creating frustrations, creating doubt. It's creating panic and it's making you start to doubt yourself, your abilities to create the business of your dreams….

That's what I dealt with for a really long time… for years. 

I want to tell you a story about how Gary Vaynerchuk yelled at me. 

So I was trying to grow a business for a few years. I was doing all these things, but I was scared to share my vulnerable story. I was trying to put up this image that proved my business and made sure that everyone saw that I was legit.

And I did this for a really long time and it ruffled some feathers and pissed people off. And I never got the success that I wanted. 

I always felt stuck. 

I always felt like I deserved more, but I wasn't getting where I wanted to be. 

And it made people really frustrated because I had never actually made my intention behind what I was sharing to help and serve. It was really just, even if the post is motivational, it was really just, “Hey, look at me!! And please, please, please, please, PLEASE join me!” Right? 

That's what I was really doing for a really long time. And then I made a switch! I made a switch like after five years of frustration. I basically heard that the secret to business growth is to serve other people by helping them solve their problems. Your success as a business owner is completely dependent on your ability to put yourself in other people's shoes and understand their deepest fears and highest aspirations in regard to your ideal clients.

So I did that and I started looking at who I really wanted to serve and what they struggled with most.  

What they feared the most.  

What kept them up at night. 

What made them feel less than…

...and I started serving them. 

I started making my social media, my content, everything I did, my training, everything was focused on them! And helping them solve their problems. I still use my story, but instead of it being, “Hey, look at my story and please join me!” It was, “Hey, here's what I went through. Maybe you can relate and this is a story from my life that might help you overcome that same struggle?” And I did that and it's exactly what my mentors were telling me to do. And I was super excited about it because this is what they said…. “If you did this, then you’ll see all the success!”

I'd see the dollars! I'd see the banking account change! I’d see my rank change! I’d see all that stuff!! And so I made the change. I started making those changes and I started going in and doing it for a couple of months and I started to get really frustrated because I would see all these other people hitting these big numbers. I would see all these other people having more success than I ever did. And I got so pissed off and so frustrated. 

And I went to a men's leadership event in Dallas, Texas, where Gary Vaynerchuck was the guest speaker. And I had the privilege of being able to ask him a question and I basically asked him (this is paraphrasing). I basically said...

“Hey Gary, I did all this wrong for a really long time and made a lot of people upset and I've been doing the right things for a little bit of time. Why isn't it working for me?”

And he looks at me and he just goes, “Be fucking patient!” 

And he just screams at me in front of the entire audience. And in the end, he explained...in that moment I realized what was going on. I had these expectations of undoing years of pissing people off and not being vulnerable and authentic and I expected it to change within two months and it didn't. And so in those moments when you start to get frustrated, you're going to have to deal with that too. 

But think about if you're being totally honest with yourself... if you did things the wrong way, how long were you doing it the wrong way?  And what trust (or lack of trust) is what built your audience? Was it two years, three years, four years, five years? How long were you doing things out of fear instead of out of service?!

And then ask yourself, “Did that build trust with your audience?” Probably not. 

Then how long have you been doing things the right way? I'm guessing if you're starting to get frustrated, it's one month, two months, three months. Well, is two months or three months enough to undo all that?!  Be patient in your business!

Take the time to allow perspective of you to change because here's what a lot of people do… if you've ever read the book, The Slight Edge, (I highly recommend it!)  If you haven't, he talks about the failure of survival oscillation. (I forget exactly what it's called.) But he talks about how most people are failing (like epically failing) and then they feel the pain of that failure and they start doing the right things, right? So you start doing the right things of sharing your story authentically, etc, up to a point of survival.

And then once they're surviving, they start to get a little bit comfortable and they start to have this high expectation of massive change, but the change isn't happening. So they get frustrated and they go inconsistent and then they go back down to failure because they stopped doing the action because they're not getting the results they want. 

They have the expectation, but they've only been doing the work for a short amount of time and they go back down to failure. Then they get hit with pain because their life isn't changing. So they do something again to make a change. And this is a couple of months later, they get motivated again to do the right thing. They get back up to the survival line and then they're not getting the results they want after a couple of months of surviving and doing the right things. So they start to feel like, what am I doing wrong?!

This isn't working for me... 

I'm broken. 

This doesn't matter. 

I'm not enough. 

And so they stopped doing it and they go up and down... I'm failure, survival, failure, survival, failure, survival. 

And that's what they do. And that's where most people struggle. They do the right things for two to three months and then they fuck it all up by stopping the right things because they're pissed off at the results that they're getting because they are attached to their dreams and they're doing it for the wrong reason. Ask yourself if that's you. Are you going after your dreams just for the goal themselves for themselves, or are you going after it for the person you're becoming along the way? I'm going to give you a little hint into the world of success. It doesn't matter if you hit your goals, it matters who you become along the way to your goals.

That's what you're actually gonna care about. So what would happen though, if you went from failure to survival and then you just kept doing the things that got you to survival, eventually it would go up? You'd have success, but most people never get that point because they're not consistent enough for a long enough time to where they've earned momentum. 

If you haven't seen the shift in your business, it's because you haven't earned momentum yet. Or maybe it's a strategy that's off that you need to tweak. And if it doesn't work, try something new! 

But the point is that you need to be patient along the way to success because it's going to be ups and downs. And yes, there are the anomalies. You know the people that sign up and start a business and they have insane success immediately. There are those anomalies that happen, but is it actually true that most people aren't an overnight success?

You know, think about any of the music artists with the exception of the people that are discovered at super young ages, like Justin Timberlake or Justin Bieber or whatever it is, right? Or a Selena Gomez who is in Disney, right?  With the exception of people that got discovered really young, think about most musicians and most artists that are an overnight success. 

Is that actually true that they're an overnight success or did they put in 10 years of work- fell on their ass over and over and over again!  

Got rejected… got laughed at… got things thrown at them... and then finally, FINALLY had a breakthrough! 

If you're being totally honest with yourself...what's true in this situation? Obviously it's true that they worked their ass off to get to where they are!  

My point is that any overnight success you see are most overnight successes that you see with the exception of random anomalies put in their time doing the right things, pounding the pavement over and over and over and over again. Just having faith in the result!

By the way, if you're ever stressed out, there is a fine line between fear and faith. Think about what faith is? If you want a guarantee that it's going to work out, that's what people really want. They want to know that the actions they're going to put in are going to lead to a certain result, right? They want a guarantee, a feeling of certainty! Well, guess what? You signed up for entrepreneurship! There is not a guarantee that you will succeed. It’s not a job. Most people go into entrepreneurship with an employee mindset thinking if they want to know if I do X, Y, and Z tasks, will I get X, Y, and Z results, right?

That's what they want. They want a guarantee, but it does not work that way. In entrepreneurship, everything's a risk. Everything is uncertain, everything! 

You don't know if it's going to happen. So you have to be okay with risk and trial and error, but when you need that craving for certainty or you have that craving for certainty, sometimes the very best guarantee you can ever give yourself is a feeling of faith, having faith that it's going to work out, especially in those moments of fear because fear and faith are very similar. 

Fear and faith, they're actually very similar. So what is fear? Fear is imagination (undirected) and faith is imagination (directed). Think about anytime you've been fearful, it's your mind going crazy like a pinball machine bouncing all over the place about what could go wrong, why it's not happening for you, etc.

That's what fear is! What's faith? It's imagination directed. It's telling yourself, you know what?

I'm going to believe that it's going to be okay. 

I'm going to choose to be happy no matter what.

I'm going to keep doing this because service is the answer to helping people, right? 

Serving people is the answer to a successful business! So you give yourself something to focus on because wherever focus goes, energy flows. So if your focus is on fear, you actually make it worse because when you focus on the problem, it perpetuates the problem. It makes the problem worse. So most people go and work their business the right way for two months. If you're doing it wrong for four years and they focused on the problem, they're like, why aren't I getting results yet? Why am I stuck? Why is this not happening for me?!

So they're focused on the problem, which makes the problem worse because instead of focusing on who they get to serve, they're obsessed with themselves. 

If your business isn't growing… chances are, you've been focusing on yourself more than others for too long. And this is where I call a lot of people out for being selfish. Are you a selfish entrepreneur?! 

The “Why isn't this happening for me?!” type of entrepreneur? If that is the case, then the focus isn't on serving people so you can solve their problems. So they never connect with you! So they'll never join you. If you're not getting where you want to be in your business, chances are as you have an obsession with yourself, and that's okay, but it's not going to lead to greatness. It's not going to lead to an amazing business.

It's not going to lead to more money… It's going to lead to a lot of frustration. 

So the way to fix this is to have FAITH that it's going to be okay and be patient along the way, knowing it's going to take some time to build trust, doing the right things. 

That's all you have to do. Change the focus from YOU to THEM. Solve their problems with your story. Once you do that for long enough, you will have the results, but you can't go up and down and up and down, up and down, consistent and inconsistent, consistent, inconsistent, and expect that you're going to have a different result. 

So when people sign up (specifically in network marketing) they'll sign up for the BIG dream, right?! They think that it's going to be easy to get there. It is a business.

It will take work and consistency effort, right? My business took a very, very, very long time before anything ever happened. It was a failure after failure. And that's how it goes! You have to be okay with that. You signed up for the riskiest way to live your life in business and financial terms. 

You are an entrepreneur! If you're an entrepreneur, it's a risk. Accept it and be patient through it. That's how it's gonna go. You have to accept that reality or else you will constantly be stressed. So be patient through this.  Direct that imagination to faith and trusting that it's going to be alright and serve! 

When you do that, the game changes forever and it becomes easy because when you're focused on where you're going and having faith instead of what you're not getting.  Instead of going up (and then stopping) and going back down (and stopping) and going back down, expecting different results… expecting a Lexus to show up in your driveway tomorrow... you need to realize it takes time.

And when you do that and you have faith and you realize it takes time, guess what happens?! You're focused on the solution instead of the problem! 

And when you focus on the solution, what do you find? You find the solution! 

In fact, you'll even get more creative and see more of a life-change because you're focusing on different ways to help other people and it becomes really, really incredible! So use this in the words of Gary Vaynerchuk “Be fucking patient!” and your life will change very, very quickly if you're patient and focused on service to others as a primary goal. 

1) Stop obsessing over yourself. 

2) Have faith instead of fear. 

And then you will notice a very significant life change over the long-term, but two or three months of doing the right stuff, that's normal, right? It's not going to happen right away. You're not going to make $1 million in a week, right?

It's takes time! It takes time to build these things. Time + faith, my friend.  Time + faith AND be fucking patient! 

So I hope you took a lot out of this podcast. I hope there was something that clicked with you where you were like, “Okay, that's probably true! I've probably been doing the right things for a couple of months and I've noticed that I'm expecting a result.” 

Expectations kill dreams in the words of Tony Robbins trade your expectations for appreciations and your life changes instantly. Instead of expecting money… appreciate life! Appreciate the growth!  Appreciate the painful moments! It's okay to feel them, but just change your state to get into a better place so you can solve the problem. 

Let go of those expectations and start appreciating the journey along the way to success. 

Thank you so much for tuning into the Path to Mindset Mastery!

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I'll see you next week.